An Insight, An Inspiration, and A Quote: On Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG)

Oyez

A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie, On the Basis of Sex. The movie is about the early career of Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG). There were several insights and inspirations that came from watching this movie, which I am sharing with you now.

Insight

There is a moment late in the movie where RBG has a choice. Choose to stand, embrace vulnerability, walk through it, and give the District Court Justices all she had. Wow. Was a pivotal point.

It reminds me that we all have choices. When we are confronted with difficulty, people telling us we can’t, we’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not insert here whatever you’ve been told. We have a choice.

We can allow these people to have power over us by accepting and holding onto the reality they are creating; or, we can create a different reality. One that gives us the space to love ourselves for exactly who we are. Right now, in this moment.

We must first accept ourselves, both our “weaknesses” and our “strengths.” Every aspect of who we are. Why? Because when we resist aspects of ourselves, they actually grow and become more present.

Choose love over fear.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Inspiration

RBG. Period. Did you know that when at Harvard Law School, her husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. What did RBG do? Hm. Only attend both of their classes, and assist her husband with his school work, while, yep, also completing all of her work. Impressive and inspirational.

RBG was also told repeatedly by many different people that her driving force to create gender equity was not possible. RBG was given every reason in the world to quit. Give up. And? Mm. Persistence.

RBG is responsible for massive change in the nature of gender equity in this country. Insightful and inspirational.

Quotes

I had a hard time choosing, so am including all of the ones I found.

  • “Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time.”
  • “So often in life, things that you regard as an impediment turn out to be great, good fortune.”
  • “Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.”
  • “When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out.”
  • “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”
  • “You can’t have it all, all at once.”
  • “I’m a very strong believer in listening and learning from others.”
  • “In the course of a marriage, one accommodates the other”
  • “In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.”
  • “A gender line…helps to keep women not on a pedestal, but in a cage.”
  • “If you want to be a true professional, do something outside yourself.”
  • “Reading is the key that opens doors to many good things in life. Reading shaped my dreams, and more reading helped me make my dreams come true.”
  • “Don’t be distracted by emotions like anger, envy, resentment. These just zap energy and waste time.”
  • “You can disagree without being disagreeable.”
  • “If you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it. I had a life partner who thought my work was as important as his, and I think that made all the difference for me.”
  • “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn’t be that women are the exception.”
  • “I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.”

More Reading

Short article on Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Ruth Bader Ginsburg landmark court cases

Quotes retrieved from inc.com

#chooseloveoverfear, #creatingchange, #dedication, #effectingchange, #genderequality, #genderequity, #grit, #insightful, #inspirational, #motivation, #presistence, #rbg, #rbgquotes, #ruthbaderginsburgquotes, #supremecourt, #supremecourtjusticerbg

The Blog + Video Series #4: Motivation: Is it an inside or outside job?

July 12, 2020

This week I’ve been more present to motivation. What I mean is noticing awesome people in my contexts doing amazing things, and the motivation that comes from creating such possibilities. 

A good friend of mine once told me that motivation does not come from an outside source, that, in fact, motivation comes from doing things.

Thinking about motivation this way creates the space for an understanding that motivation doesn’t just magically appear.

Motivation comes from doing, simple.

Photo by Clique Images on Unsplash

Yet, as human beings, understanding what is a simple concept about motivation, is not always simple to put into practice. Why? Because humans create patterns (or habits) that are very hard to change. 

However, it is possible to change them. And, the first step to creating that change, is to understand that the motivation to do so will develop inside the actions you take to make these changes.

Motivation does not live inside of thinking about the changes, only in the doing.

With so much change happening as a result of the COVID-19 health crisis, then, all of us are living outside of our typical patterns, or habits, and that is difficult for everyone. You are not alone in feeling this way. 

It seems to me then that motivation is an inside job. The motivation to take action in life, lives inside the action itself, which we create.

Photo by tanialee gonzalez on Unsplash

Sometimes humans also want to connect an action to a result. However, connecting actions to results sets us up for failure. When we believe that we are taking action for a result, we concentrate and expect the result to look or be a certain way. And, when the result is not that way, we typically say, I’ve lost my motivation.

Motivation is not lost. It is simply hiding inside the next action, so let go of your expectations on the result, and take that next action.

My invitation – continue to take those daily actions, which create new patterns, new motivations, and new possibilities.

Until next time…

#creatingnewhabits, #creatingnewroutines, #creatingpossibilitiers, #creatingpossibilities, #motivation, #newpatterns, #takingaction

The Self-Development Tips Series 1: The Art of Loving Yourself

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships this week. In fact, I am always thinking about relationships in some way, as I do believe they are one of the most important things in life. So very important.

Yet, when you think of relationships, what is your first thought?

Is it of yourself, or someone else? Most people will say someone else. Why? Because, I think, we are in many ways programmed to think externally first.

However, it is always, and will forever be, the ways in which we look internally first that we will then be able to turn our gaze outward.

Meaning that how we think about and treat ourselves is exactly how we will think about and treat other people. What to do?

We must learn to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, be good to ourselves, and find ways to make time for ourselves.

Photo by Dennis Ottink on Unsplash

It is very common, however, to think that by taking care of others we are, in effect, taking care of ourselves. Not so. When we “take care” of others at the expense of our own self-care, or at the expense of their own development, we help no one; and, no one grows.

What can we do?

We can begin to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves now. Today.

It is through developing a relationship with ourselves that we can begin to love ourselves for the human beings that we are. And, guess what? As we develop a loving relationship with ourselves, our external relationships will become more stable, and loving.

It is then that everyone in our sphere, starting with ourselves, has the ability to grow and develop. Does this mean that our relationships will be easy? No. It might mean that some of them will be more difficult.

Especially if we have created relationships with people that have superseded our own relationship with ourselves.

However, once we begin to look inward, and make choices about what’s best for ourselves, we can begin to move ourselves forward.

And, create that loving relationship with ourselves that is absolutely necessary and needed in order to have healthy relationships with anyone.

Alright, so how and where do we begin? And, what strategies can you use to get in touch with yourself, and begin to create, develop, and maintain the most important relationship in your life?

Let’s take a look at a few that I use daily.

Quiet Time

Until about three years ago, I was always on the go. Always. I didn’t ever really stop until it was time for bed. And then, I would not sleep well. When I started to incorporate quiet time into my day, I immediately noticed the health benefits.

If quiet time was so beneficial, why didn’t you incorporate it into your life earlier?

Because I didn’t know how. When you live one way, that is what you know. Sounds silly. It is, however, very true. Unless someone else shows you another way, you will continue to do things that are not beneficial for you.

All the while, there is another way, you just don’t have access to it yet.

If you are always running, I suggest building in quiet time into your day. How? Any way you can. Know that when I write quiet time, I mean any time you can get away from technology and other people.

As much as I love people, and all of my relationships, as I’m sure you also do, we all need a break from the constant stimulation. Needed.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Journaling and Writing

Journaling and writing are also helpful. As I’ve written in other posts, I’ve been writing for some time, however, I only began to write introspectively these past couple of years.

Writing about how you are feeling, what your hopes and dreams are, and how you intend to achieve them is a totally different type of writing.

When we write as a way to understand ourselves better, we open up the possibility of actually getting to know ourselves better. And, to have a quality relationship with ourselves, and everyone else, we must know who we are. Very important.

When we get to know ourselves, really know ourselves, diving deep into why we feel as we do, and getting clearer on the things that have happened in our past, which we are still holding onto, we can begin to heal.

And, it is inside of this healing where our deepest and most profound transformation can occur. Learning to love the person we were, are, and will be. Special.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Meditation

I’ve written about my meditation practice in several posts now, and, indeed, on this topic it is no different. The health benefits I’ve experienced from learning how to mediate, and to incorporate meditation into my daily routine have been, and are, profound. Why?

Because it is your time. Just for you. A time for introspection, to learn about yourself. What makes you, you, and how your humanness works. When you sit, you get to know more about how your mind and body work, and how they work together.

And, inside of a learning like this, you have more access to understand yourself and all of humanity in a whole new way.

In the article, Creating a Meditation Practice: 3 Steps in 4 Minutes, I write about some simple steps you can take to create a meditation practice. It takes time, dedication, and creating the habit. If you are a beginner, it is also helpful to have someone coach you along the way.

What is most important? Taking the time you need to begin a meditation practice if it is something you’ve been interested in. Why wait?

Photo by Le Minh Phuong on Unsplash

Dietary Needs

For the longest time I didn’t focus on my diet. In fact, it was one of those things that bothered me terribly, as I was very overweight, yet, I continued to eat poorly.

Not loving myself for a long time.

It is important to eat well. What we put into our body has direct implications for how our mind and body functions. Really. When I began to focus on my diet, which started slowly, I would take one thing out of my diet at a time that was unhealthy for me. Then, I would take something else out. Takes time.

The amount of clarity you gain by removing foods loaded with artificial ingredients and high levels of sugar is profound. Not something I ever really understood or knew about. It is loving yourself to create a diet that is rich in nutrients.

A high-quality diet will fuel your mind, body, and soul. Believe me.

There are plenty of articles out there about creating a healthy diet, and you can also work on your diet with your doctor. What do I know? That eating more naturally produced foods, vegetables, beans, fruits, and nuts has been very beneficial for me.

My diet has been totally plant-based for almost a year now, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, except, the change that comes from continuing to learn about new ways to purchase and prepare new foods.

Photo by Stéphan Valentin on Unsplash

Exercise

I’ve always believed in exercise, and through most of my life have enjoyed walking. However, I never really developed a healthy exercise habit until about 2 years ago. Exercise is important. We all need it.

Further, exercise also gives you time for yourself. Time to explore your own needs when it comes to being with your body. You can develop a healthy exercise habit or routine by simply creating the space in your day to do so.

I know. It sounds easy, and yet it can be difficult. Understood. Many people ask or wonder about how to develop the motivation to keep up a regular exercise routine. In the article, Motivation: Is it an inside or outside job?, I write about the fact that motivation comes from within.

Motivation comes from the doing of that which you want to do regularly. Simple. People often say they aren’t motivated, so they can’t get to the gym, or that they are too busy, so there is not time to go for a walk. Normal.

However, the only way to become motivated is to actually go to the gym, or make the space in your day for a walk. That’s it. And, after you’ve done so, and continue to do so, in time, you will find your motivation.

You will also have developed another healthy habit, and routine. Loving yourself.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Sleep Well

Sleep is so important, yet in the United States in particular, we often disregard our sleep in favor of other activities. Though I sleep better than ever before, I still struggle in this area.

It’s like that though. You develop yourself, loving yourself, a little at a time. You learn, you create new habits, some old habits hang around longer than others, then they also eventually go away. All the while I am inviting you to persist.

Persist in loving yourself, and allowing yourself the time needed to recuperate from your day. So very important. When we do not give ourselves that time, we will not be our best the next day. It’s just not possible to be your best when you are tired.

Believe me, I know. I spent many years sleeping poorly. Staying up very late, drinking too much, and sleeping, well, like you would imagine. Not well.

And, like the rest of this article, it takes creating the healthy habit of loving yourself enough to ensure that you get the rest you need.

When you are fully rested, you have the opportunity to be your best the next day. For yourself, first, and then for all of those around you.

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

Alright, there we have it. There are 6 different tips that when worked on, over time, can bring you more time, energy, rest, peace, and overall well being.

And, inside of increasing our overall well being, we are practicing the art of loving ourselves.

For, it is inside of the love that we show to ourselves first, that we can really begin to love other people. When we don’t show ourselves the love we deserve, by taking care of ourselves, we cannot really love other people. Not really.

Loving starts with the love you show yourself. Show yourself love today, then, by taking up a healthy habit you’ve been avoiding or putting off.

It takes creating the time, and taking action. Remember, developing your new healthy habit will take time. Yet, I am inviting you to persist in your quest to develop your healthy habit. Why?

Because you are worth it. Learning to love yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And, it is also one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other, and all of humanity.

#exercise, #healthy-diet, #healthy-habits, #journaling, #loving-yourself, #meditation, #motivation, #personal-development, #quiet-time, #relationships, #self-development, #sleep, #well-being, #writing

Finding Comfort in Being Uncomfortable: Part 2

What is it you want out of life? Most of us would answer something like: money, health, and happiness. The usual suspects. Funnily enough, many of the things we want are those things that are best attained outside of our comfort zones. We believe, however, that comfort is relative to having the aforementioned, yet that is a simple thinking error. Let’s take a look.

Money

Regardless of how much money you make, to have money on hand takes a serious commitment to creating and sustaining a budget that is reasonable, which is uncomfortable. Yet budgeting your money in a reasonable way, even aggressive way, though uncomfortable, will give you that which you desire, more money on hand.

Taking on a promotion, or starting a new job, creates an unknown context, which can be very uncomfortable. However, that unknown context, if approached from an open mind, will create new growth opportunities, such as learning and developing new skill sets. And, having new skill sets will make you more adept in every context you work in.

Health

Attaining a level of health you desire takes a commitment to developing healthy habits in relation to your physical, mental, and spiritual self. Regular exercise, healthy eating habits, and time to focus on your inner self take time, and allocating that time every day can feel uncomfortable. Yet, doing these things regularly will create the context for your health to improve, and sustaining these activities over time will create more future health.

Happiness

In my estimation, the concept of happiness being attached to comfort is one of the largest thinking errors. Achieving happiness begins with a commitment to do those things in life that we often avoid, put off, deny, and disregard. Why?

Because taking the time to do those things is scary. What if I fail? Or what if it doesn’t work? Feelings of being uncomfortable in not knowing how our time investment will go is scary. Both of the aforementioned questions are common mantras for putting off those things that will stretch us most, which when committed to on a regular basis will increase our overall level of happiness.

Thinking Error

The thinking error I’ve referred to in this post is that by not doing the things in life that will make us most uncomfortable we will find those attributes we want most, like money, health, and happiness.

Yet here is the reality. The exact opposite is true. Doing those things in life that make us the most unformattable are the exact actions that will create the attributes, like money, health, and happiness, we want most. An apparent paradox.

Yet not really. It actually makes total sense. Do things that stretch you, which include doing things that scare you, make you nervous, and for surely make you uncomfortable, and you will achieve those things you most desire.

Being comfortable never produced anything. Being uncomfortable, however, has produced many, many things. Think about any historical figure, pick any one you like, and I guarantee you their life was full of uncomfortable situations. Situations they actively created, and welcomed with open arms.

Now it’s your turn. The next time someone asks you to do something you’ve always wanted to do, yet were too scared or uncomfortable to do, do it. Give it a try, and see what you get back. You may be quite surprised.

#comfort-zone, #creativity, #happiness, #health, #money, #motivation, #psychology, #thinking-error, #wellness

Motivation: Is it an inside or outside job?

This week I’ve been more present to motivation. What I mean is noticing awesome people in my contexts doing amazing things, and the motivation that comes from creating such possibilities. 

A good friend of mine once told me that motivation does not come from an outside source, that, in fact, motivation comes from doing things. Thinking about motivation this way creates the space for an understanding that motivation doesn’t just magically appear. Motivation comes from doing, simple.

Yet, as human beings, understanding what is a simple concept about motivation, is not always simple to put into practice. Why? Because humans create patterns (or habits) that are very hard to change. 

However, it is possible to change them. And, the first step to creating that change, is to understand that the motivation to do so will develop inside the actions you take to make these changes. Motivation does not live inside of thinking about the changes, only in the doing.

With so much change happening as a result of the COVID-19 health crisis, then, all of us are living outside of our typical patterns, or habits, and that is difficult for everyone. You are not alone in feeling this way. 

It seems to me then that motivation is an inside job. The motivation to take action in life, lives inside the action itself, which we create.

Sometimes humans also want to connect an action to a result. However, connecting actions to results sets us up for failure. When we believe that we are taking action for a result, we concentrate and expect the result to look or be a certain way. And, when the result is not that way, we typically say, I’ve lost my motivation.

Motivation is not lost. It is simply hiding inside the next action, so let go of your expectations on the result, and take that next action.

My invitation – continue to take those daily actions, which create new patterns, new motivations, and new possibilities.

Until next time…

#action, #change, #covid-19, #habits, #motivation, #patterns, #possibility, #result